Choices, Changes and Consequences…..

As we are brought up through childhood, we are taught that actions have consequences, or at least we should be. We learn that behind every action we take, we should have considered what are the options, what are the results of our actions and finally but not least, what will the consequences be both to ourselves and to the people we act on. In the early years, for the most part, people think selfishly and disregard whatever their action may do to their community. As we mature and grow older we gain more compassion and understanding of the world around us, and gain an insight into the depths of a society where the actions of the individual affect the lives of the collective.
This, in return, grants us the ability to act selflessly and make choices in favor of others. Even if it leads to negative or neutral results for oneself. In many regards it build up the society, as it induces trust among the individuals and gives them the sense of being a part of something bigger. This may be a good thing for some, and it may leave others feeling outside.

Choices are a part of human life. It is a part of what we are and a large part of what makes us human, in the less physical way of course. The choices we make are what guide us, to whatever we endure, experience and enjoy. This goes both for the good things in life and the bad things in life. Whatever we try to deceive ourselves into believing, there is but one person to blame for whatever happens in our lives, and that person is oneself.
The actions and to some extent ideas of people in our lives and around us may influence what we do, how we think, and what happens in our lives but they will never be responsible, nor will they be subject to the resulting actions.

We live our lives differently, some enjoy the continuity and comfort of making as few choices as possible, and believing the risk of making the wrong choice is better avoided, in order to remain in the safety and conformity of habit. A large part of this group do so based on the fear of what may lie beyond the boundaries of the known. Whether or not this is done on purpose and thereby being aware of the choice taken, may not always be the case.
If you actively chose to live your life this way, you must also be fully aware of the things that you reject in the process. Every choice made is at the same time an acceptance and a rejection of something. Something that, in one way or another, would have an effect on the life in the future.
If on the other hand you are not aware of making this choice, then you would be either living happily and blissful believing you are right where you would like to be, or you find yourself at a point in life where you know something is missing, but you fail to figure out what that thing is.

The way forward in the situation must be to either look for change in your life or look at the options you have and figure out why you are at the point where you are and if you feel the need to change something. The result may be a rather big change in your current life, as well as in the life of the people around you. And this is the point where consequences again begin to take their effect, as do the consideration made regarding the community we live in. Depending on where and when in your life you come to this point it may affect your surroundings more or less. Maybe this is where our upbringing and sense of responsibility comes into play. Being able to see beyond the horizon of our own life and existence and realizing that there are people depending on us, being supported by us both mentally and for some cases economically. This does not mean that certain choices should be disregarded by default, but it makes it important to consider the actions and the complications of what we are doing every time we find ourselves faced with new choices. Refusing or avoiding to actively consider the consequences only postpones the inevitable, and may in some cases only worsen the choices that at some point have to be taken. Alternatively the time for making the active choice will pass, either due to others making their choices and thus eliminating the options for ourselves or due to the possibilities simply vanishing for various reasons. This leaves the option of regretting choices that were never really made, mainly due to not liking the outcome, or due to wishful thinking of better times.

So what does it mean when people regret on one side choices they made, and on the other side choices they did not make but regret the outcome none the less? In my personal experience I find that very few decisions are final in this world. Yes, some large ones are without chance of return, but most merely require you to accept that nothing happens without consequences. It is almost never possible to chose one path, then go back and chose the other without some sort of “penalty”. This may come in the form of personal responsibility needed to be taken, or in the freedom being reduced on the actual choice. It may also be necessary to apologize or accept that things may be broken in the process. But in general it is possible. Only requirement would be to accept the things that have happened, and accept responsibility for own choices, both good and bad.

That the option to go back exists, does not always make it the right way, even if the prospect of the alternative road appears better. One must still remember to consider the implications of the entire situation for all. Choices made usually affect others too, and a return on a decision will again affect them. Going back and finding the right path for one self may force others onto a path they did not chose nor desire, even without having the option to alter the fate.

In many ways this should teach us to grasp the lives we have and live them actively, and remember that only one is responsible for what happens and how our lives turn out. Even if we feel plunged into action and situations outside of our control, we are still the only ones to work through them, and the only ones to live with the consequences. We make choices, based on various grounds but always with the same goal, a change in a specific direction is needed and we accept whatever consequences it will bring. If we don’t, we merely force others to take responsibility for our actions.