22 April 2007

Dead Man Walking, "What am I supposed to do now?"

Yes, I know, I said I was doing the New Age next, but this popped into my head. -- Mother.

Ian Hunter does a wonderful song called "Dead Man Walking," the lyrics of which can be found at: http://www.hunter-mott.com/lyrics/rant.html#DeadManWalkin
It's a brutal, honest look at being a certain age. It's a great wallow song if you feel like wallowing and has some lovely piano bits.

I bring this up, because I have been reading of late of people who find themselves lolling the doldrums, maybe because of age, maybe because of natural temperament. I read their words and I hear "Dead Man Walking" in my head.

If I could speak to them though, I wouldn't quote lyrics at them. I would remind them first of all they have and shouldn't take for granted. You have a job, think of those that don't, who worry about how to keep the lights on and feed their kids. You have a home, think of those that don't and will be sleeping on the sidewalks tonight. You have food and health and the your nation, however divided, isn't being destroyed by civil war. There are many who can't say that. I'm sure they know those things, but being reminded never hurts.

Given all that, humans are basically selfish creatures, so even being "comfortable" when others lack basics, they are still apt to look at their lot and find it lacking. I have, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that, so a reminder of all that is good is good, but it isn't enough.

Want to get rid of your over-abundance of possessions? Don't go on e-bay, call a charity. Got too much time staring you in the face? Volunteer teaching people to read or teach English to immigrants. Join a Guide dog training program and bring an animal into your life that, if you both work hard enough, will become the eyes or ears of someone who needs them. Volunteer to answer phones at a crisis hotline. Go to a convalescent hospital and offer to be a companion to someone who has no one else in their life. Your life will have meaning and you will be helping others. You will also have less time to wonder whether or not your life has the degree of happiness that our Western consumer-based culture promises you will have if you just buy the right products, pills, and services.

Still not enough? Then look at all the things you have not tried. Here's a partial list of things I have not tried. You can borrow it if you like: Canning preserves; yoga; quitting smoking again; reading Don Quixote; watching the AFI Top 100 films of all time; travelling to about 100,000 places I want to see in my lifetime; cleaning behind the refrigerator (ok, I have done that, but not in this millennium); trading my practical car for a roadster before giving up my car and relying on public transport; volunteering to work on a political campaign; finding just the right version of that cool-whip and jello pie I loved as a kid; learning to play chess well; meeting in person all my friends from the internet; writing a novel with a beginning, a middle, and an end. That should be enough to get anyone started and everyone, if they think about it, has their own list. If you truly have no list, you poor unfortunate soul, you best start making one.

And finally, quit waiting for "the right time" to start living your life. So often I have heard people say they will get on with their life goals when the time is right, when they have the money, when the kids get in school or out of school or out of the house, when they meet the right man, woman, or llama, when the stars are aligned just right and guarantee the success of their endeavor. THERE IS NO RIGHT TIME! Keep waiting and you'll be laying on your death-bed wondering what you did with all those years you spent waiting.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

The alpaca this millennium's llama.

"To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness; though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless."

Since Freud and Jung, has unhappiness become the new happiness?

Mother said...

There's an alpaca farm on the way up to Solvang.

Anyone interested in meeting an alpaca can e-mail me and this summer when I'm up that way I'll make discreet inquiries via Ralph the Wonder Llama.

I think expectations for happiness have exceeded reality since the invention of television.

White Smurf said...

You can tell a person to see the positive sides of life, but you can never make him. Unfortunately! -I am not a positive person when it comes to myself, but I can/will always do what I can to make others see things positively.

I think you just have to keep trying, and remember to let go before you go down yourself. Hard but true.

/WS

p.s. Thanks for the invite, Mother

Mother said...

Glad to have you aboard, Smurf!

Now get posting! :)

White Smurf said...

All in due time...all in due time, my dear.

Besides, it would be nice to actually have something to say before I post :)

/WS

Silence said...

From you post it seems that people are depressed because of their actions or lack of actions. Thinking about the people who are worse off that oneself doesn't really help, it might just make you more depressed. Where it might be a good idea to try to look at things from a positive perspective, that's not always possible, there are times when you can't find them and don't know where to look.
I think our expectations to life has reached unrealistic levels and when we can't make it come true we become depressed. We want to be the heroes of our own universe and then reality sets in. We are told what we could be and show how life can be. How often are we told accept who we are and [b]be[/b] who we are?

Mother said...

Hay, if I might:

Be who you are. :) Truly. I think who you are is just the bees knees and I wouldn't change you for anything.

I think that is part of the problem with our consumer culture. It creates the illusion that who you are is not enough and cannot be enough. There's a song by The Clash that talks about going into the supermarket to buy a new guaranteed personality. We are no longer able to accept that some people have a melancholy streak or some people are more pessimistic than others or having low points are a natural part of being alive. We've been programmed by media and advertisers to expect something that reality just can't deliver on.

Silence said...

I wonder if there's ever been done a study or if it's even possible, that traces the development in depression and marketing focus.

Mother said...

Maybe that's something we can google and address in a future blog?

Silence said...

It would do for a decent blog entry even if they don't exist, then it's just a question of why.